Our future home?
Deb and I returned to the UK the following day and leapt into the task of collating our financial information AGAIN. Updated Company accounts, tax returns, P60’s, Experian credit reports etc. It’s not a two minute job for us as we’re not the most organised of people. ‘Last year’s Company accounts?’ I asked Deb hopefully. ‘Do you know where my last P60 is?’ She replied. I said, ‘Why would I know where that is, it’s your responsibility.’ ‘And your accounts are you’re responsibility.’ Was her response. ‘If you’ve lost them phone the accountant for copies, I’m busy.’ Stuart, my long suffering accountant, was extremely helpful and provided a copy of the missing accounts. The originals actually turned up 3 months later under an old hamsters cage.
Documentation collated and checked, we were ready to forward everything to Rob Govier, AGAIN. ‘Have you looked at our financial position,’ said Deb, ‘and checked that we meet the criteria for a mortgage.’ ‘I’m sure we do,’ I replied, with confidence in my voice. ‘We have cut our credit commitments, our accounts are on the up year on year and we have more savings so we need a smaller mortgage which gives us a higher equity stake and therefore makes us less of a risk for the bank. We won’t have an issue.’ Documents were e-mailed to Rob and we got on with our lives, but in the meantime we were still discussing what we were going to do with our little white house on the hill.
‘That pool has got to be the priority.’ Said Deb. ‘Even if we just refurbish the hole in the ground that’s there and re-tile the pool patio, that will be sufficient. We need somewhere to dip in the Summer.’ ‘It also ruins the view.’ I replied. ‘You’ve got stunning views in that direction but your eyes just get drawn to the pool. And as for that bloody gazebo, it has to go.’ ‘What about the house?’ Said Deb. ‘The house is fine,’ I replied, ‘we can live with it as it is. There is no real work to do, just decorating and re-furnishing, we can address that in the Winter. The important thing is to get the outside right.’ ‘You’re right.’ She said. ‘I want some sun beds for the pool patio and a sofa set for the front porch. We’ve already got the dining table for outside the kitchen so we should be good to go very quickly.’ It was all very exciting.
Bombshell time again. Rob was fairly quick at delivering the devastating blow that we still didn’t qualify for a Spanish mortgage. What!! How can that be? We have lived like peasants over the last 12 months, apart from the 2 villa holidays of course. We were stunned. What more could we do? Forget Aldi and go to food banks? Sell the house and move to rented accommodation? Lose the cars and drive round in an old wreck? What does that say to my clients when I turn up in an old rattletrap of a car? ‘Tell me Mr Govier, what more can we do?’ I asked. ‘Reduce your outgoings further,’ he said, ‘or raise money on your house.’ ‘If I can’t get a mortgage in Spain then I obviously can’t extend my mortgage here.’ I said, really frustrated. ‘I could always send Deb out on the streets.’ I joked. ‘It all helps.’ He said. Seriously?
Deb was getting used to devastating blows in this Spanish property purchasing experience and she dealt with it reasonably well. ‘Don’t forget to put that plugged in toaster down before you get in the bath hun,’ I said to her casually as I walked into the bathroom. ‘That could be dangerous.’ ‘Where does that leave us then and what do we do now?’ She said as she put the toaster on the bath mat. ‘There has got be another way of achieving this without involving the banks.’ I said. ‘The little white house on the hill has been on the market for well over a year, nearly 2 in fact, and the English owners are desperate to sell so there has to be an alternative we can offer them. Let me have a think about it and don’t write it off yet,’
I am a naturally modest person but I have to admit that my alternative proposal was pure genius, in my opinion. I had slept on it, well not exactly slept but turned it over in my mind all night, and I think I came up with a fantastic alternative plan that would benefit both parties. ‘Deb,’ I said excitedly as I gently shook her awake, ‘ I’ll make a brew and I think I’ve worked out how to do this.’
‘Ok, listen to this, I think it will work.’ I said to Deb when she’d come round slightly. I was wide awake and wired. ‘The little white house on the hill has been on the market for nearly 2 years, correct?’ I said. ‘Correct.’ Deb replied. ‘So the owners must be really motivated to sell, correct?’ I said. ‘What is this, an interrogation? Just get on with it.’ She said, infuriated. She can be a little touchy when she’s only been awake for 2 minutes. ‘Sorry, just really excited. So if they want to sell their property and we want to buy it but can’t borrow the money, why not rent to buy? Developers do it with new build properties so why not with older properties. I’ve also come up with an offer the owners cannot say no to.’ I prepared myself for the big pitch to Deb, took a deep breath and went for it. Here we go. ‘We give the owners 25% of the negotiated purchase price as a non refundable deposit, we also pay an agreed monthly rent for a period of, say, 3 years. During this time we save like mad and at the end of the 3 years we pay the balance due in cash, minus the 25% and the total of rent paid over 36 months. During the period of rental we get to use the property and pay all water and electric bills and Council tax bills. If we don’t complete after 3 years the owners retain the property and all monies paid, including the 25% deposit. All contractually agreed with respective lawyers. A Win/Win for the owners and all the risk is on our side. How can anyone say no to that?’ Deb looked at me, somewhat shell shocked and said. ‘Pay for it cash? Do you think we could do that?’ ‘Look how much we’ve saved in the last 12 months by living like we’re in poverty.’ I said. ‘I’m sure we could do it, and well within 3 years, but I’m saying 3 to give us a buffer.’ ‘Brilliant.’ She said. Look at my brownie point calculator on the rise.
The only people who didn’t benefit from this outstanding offer were Julian and Marijse. If it were accepted then they would need to wait for up to 3 years for their commission. It is hardly motivating for them and this was the only reason I was reluctant to put it forward to Julian. However, it was our only chance to achieve our little piece of Spain, so I e-mailed my thoughts and offer to Julian in the most positive way I could and asked him to put it to the owner.
All went quiet for a few days and I heard nothing back from Julian. I had visions of him pinning a picture of me on a dartboard in his office and casually throwing pointed objects at me all day. Then, after about 4 or 5 days days we got a response. ‘Deb.’ I yelled. ‘We got a message from Julian.’ I’m not deaf.’ She yelled back. ‘Sorry,’ I said, ‘I’m just anxious.’ I opened the message from Julian and it contained a response from the owner. So Julian had put the offer forward, what a gent. In a nutshell, the owner responded with a resounding NO, even though he thought the idea had merit. I leapt up and went into the kitchen, hid the kettle and toaster and turned the water off at the stop cock. Well you can’t be too careful, she was a ‘woman on the edge, at this point.
After so many disappointments I actually think we were both expecting yet another one as neither of us fell apart, we just looked at each other and Deb said, ‘Well, that’s it then. Our dream is over.’ ‘Not necessarily,’ I said, ‘as I have a Plan B.’ If you were being pedantic this would be actually Plan G or F, but never mind. ‘Don’t raise my hopes with another scheme doomed to failure.’ She said. Ominous silence, then, ‘Oh go on then, tell me.
Optimism keeps us going doesn’t it? If you have nothing to strive for or a goal in life, what’s the point? I said ‘Ok, so we’ve established we could pay cash for this in 3 years, correct?’ ‘Don’t start interrogating me again I’m not in the mood.’ Deb replied. ‘Well,’ I said, ‘ What we have to do is put the little white house on the hill behind us, difficult as that may be for both of us. Onwards and upwards. So we put our ‘rent to buy’ offer to all the agents in the Ontinyent area and see who responds. There has to be someone out there desperate enough to take our amazing offer.’ ‘Well,’ she said, ‘What have we got to lose. They can only say no. AGAIN.’
Moving to Spain? Help! 